With that being said I've started to read the book of Romans and I've been processing ideas and thoughts and comparing some of them to what I'm reading in my time with God.
Your suckyness isn't fake
It's been a life long struggle to see myself the way God sees me or to believe that I really am the good man that my mentors tell me I am. The fact is that I constantly struggle with falling short and feeling like I'm not living the great life I'm suppose to. The truth of the Gospel tells me that apart from Christ I'm not far off from being sucky.
Rom 1:18-32 GW God's anger is revealed from heaven against every ungodly and immoral thing people do as they try to suppress the truth by their immoral living. (19) What can be known about God is clear to them because he has made it clear to them. (20) From the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly observed in what he made. As a result, people have no excuse. (21) They knew God but did not praise and thank him for being God. Instead, their thoughts were pointless, and their misguided minds were plunged into darkness. (22) While claiming to be wise, they became fools. (23) They exchanged the glory of the immortal God for statues that looked like mortal humans, birds, animals, and snakes. (24) For this reason God allowed their lusts to control them. As a result, they dishonor their bodies by sexual perversion with each other. (25) These people have exchanged God's truth for a lie. So they have become ungodly and serve what is created rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen! (26) For this reason God allowed their shameful passions to control them. Their women have exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. (27) Likewise, their men have given up natural sexual relations with women and burn with lust for each other. Men commit indecent acts with men, so they experience among themselves the punishment they deserve for their perversion. (28) And because they thought it was worthless to acknowledge God, God allowed their own immoral minds to control them. So they do these indecent things. (29) Their lives are filled with all kinds of sexual sins, wickedness, and greed. They are mean. They are filled with envy, murder, quarreling, deceit, and viciousness. They are gossips, (30) slanderers, haters of God, haughty, arrogant, and boastful. They think up new ways to be cruel. They don't obey their parents, (31) don't have any sense, don't keep promises, and don't show love to their own families or mercy to others. (32) Although they know God's judgment that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do these things but also approve of others who do them.
I'm pretty sure I've done a number of the things in the list above. In addition I have failed to trust God. I tell people that Jesus is my lord and savoir but struggle with the realization that he loves me. unconditionally I say "father" in my prayer time but struggle to grasp how a good father loves his kids.
Rom 3:21-26 GW Now, the way to receive God's approval has been made plain in a way other than Moses' Teachings. Moses' Teachings and the Prophets tell us this. (22) Everyone who believes has God's approval through faith in Jesus Christ. There is no difference between people. (23) Because all people have sinned, they have fallen short of God's glory. (24) They receive God's approval freely by an act of his kindness through the price Christ Jesus paid to set us free from sin. (25) God showed that Christ is the throne of mercy where God's approval is given through faith in Christ's blood. In his patience God waited to deal with sins committed in the past. (26) He waited so that he could display his approval at the present time. This shows that he is a God of justice, a God who approves of people who believe in Jesus.
Love given by humans is rarely given without strings. Married poeple expect certian things from their spouses to prove they are loved by the other person. Parents expect that their kids loving them looks like them doing everything they say with out question or maybe just taking them of them when they are old.
God doesn't have strings on his love for us. He didn't say "I'm only going to die for you if you stop sinning and go to church every Sunday." God gave his son knowing that some will choose death yet he died no less for them then his did for me.
What about those who have chosen salvation?
Rom 8:14-18 GW Certainly, all who are guided by God's Spirit are God's children. (15) You haven't received the spirit of slaves that leads you into fear again. Instead, you have received the spirit of God's adopted children by which we call out, "Abba! Father!" (16) The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. (17) If we are his children, we are also God's heirs. If we share in Christ's suffering in order to share his glory, we are heirs together with him. (18) I consider our present sufferings insignificant compared to the glory that will soon be revealed to us.Ever talk with someone who's chosen to adopt a child? People who adopt amaze me. There must be a part of them loves in a special way. To love a child that's not theirs like they are their own is amazing. I'm been blessed to have been adopted in to a family as an adult. I'm amazed still as I sat recently at a restaurant with my mentors/God parents at how much they love me. They didn't have to pour all the time, energy and love into me that they have over the last 13 years but God wired them in such a way that they by nature adopt youth. They saw a young man who was lacking love and confidence and have done their best to be an example of Gods heart. How great is it that God adopts us. He loves us so much that he would give us a part of his inheritance. We don't deserve it but we need it.
Living out the life of being adopted.
Rom 8:31-35 GW What can we say about all of this? If God is for us, who can be against us? (32) God didn't spare his own Son but handed him over to death for all of us. So he will also give us everything along with him. (33) Who will accuse those whom God has chosen? God has approved of them. (34) Who will condemn them? Christ has died, and more importantly, he was brought back to life. Christ has the highest position in heaven. Christ also intercedes for us. (35) What will separate us from the love Christ has for us? Can trouble, distress, persecution, hunger, nakedness, danger, or violent death separate us from his love?Gratefulness - I think our walk with God as an adopted child of God should start with gratefulness. How can we not be grateful for the gift of salvation? Coming to the conclusion that we need God should make of grateful that he saw our need and delivered. God could have done another of things but he chose the path of loving his creation.
Confidence - This is where I struggle. I've spent most of my life not realizing that I'm royalty. I've spent allot of my life stopping short of living out a life as a chosen son. I've stopped short of believing that God has big plans for me. Thus allowing the enemy to keep me from fulfilling the calling God has put on my life. God have given me a new confidence I see my calling not as a path to chose but rather God's plan that he has laid out for me. Its not a matter of if I fulfill the life he's chosen for me but rather when. If your struggling with future plans or believing in Gods calling on your life. Remember he knew about the holdups, they things that have come in the way and he's not surprised and he's even prepared the poeple ahead to speak into your life or help push you along. Perhaps now is the time for you to begin to have confidence in your calling and the things that he's saying to you.
Humility - It's important that we remind humble. Realizing that God didn't choose us because where awesome. He chose us because of our potential to be an example of his goodness. To many Christians lack humility when talking to unbelievers. Because of that we are called hypocrites and haters. We have to keep in mind that the same way God dies for us while we were still sinners he's died for them and the sin they are in now. If we come to the unsaved with heart of humlity showing that we too are broken but greatful for Gods goodness toward us and confident that God will allow us to live out our calling. People who don't know Jesus will get a glimps of the Gospel in action.
Non Christians don't need to see super-humans who looks like they have it all together. Rather they need to see the real side of our lives. Broken people who need a loving father to rescue them from death, sin and a life alone with out love. They need to see that suck just as much as they do. The only difference is that we have accepted the gift of love that they have not.
Thanks for reading,
John
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