Easter - A great time to reflect

I have never been one to be very emotional. People usually see a smile on my face. At least that's what time told.  I've always been one to bottle things up and wait for things to internally explode before I really explore the root of my feelings and deal with them. Why do I bring this up?

Over the many years of being a Christian I have taken count of Good Friday & Easter. I have thought through the meaning, the depth of what the life and death of Jesus means for me as someone who has chosen to follow him. All of my life I have struggled to experience emotion. I have watched the "Passion of the Christ" and watched the others around me both men and women crying as they take into account the experience of seeing still a limited view of what Jesus truly experienced. There have been times where I've wondered why I struggle so much to explore or feel emotion. Maybe it's because I didn't see much emotion out of my dad except for a temper. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that if I delve into hurt and shame other emotions might arise.  You can only explore emotion and have a conversation with your dog for about 10 seconds before the blank stares get to you and you realize you want something more. I'm looking for someone who will take the time do learn all about me. Someone who will see me for who I am and will truly know my heart and still love me. Sometimes living a lone and being a 33 year old single guy weighs down on me. Other times I put my focus where it belongs and my refection turns me to the truth of Gospel.

The disciple John writes the following after describing the resurrection of Jesus and his interactions with people who loved dearly.

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book;  but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name. 

-John 20:30-31

Jesus is so much more then a good man. Our church does a amazing good Friday in which our pastor tells Jesus' life story as he lights candles as people begin to follow him and extinguish them as people fall away. Last night it struck me how alone Jesus must of felt when I says the famous phrase. "My God, my God why have your forsaken me." Last night and even now it strikes me that Jesus chose to die alone on a cross while even God the father turned is his back away so that I would experience the power of God in my life. He willingly died and took on my sin and shame so that I would never be alone.  These thoughts brought me to the edge of tears and deepened my view of Jesus's work on the cross. Isaiah wrote the following hundreds of years before Jesus walked the earth.

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.     Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken,  smitten by God, and afflicted.     

But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,  and with his wounds we are healed.     

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way;  and the  Lord  has laid on him the iniquity of us all.    He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,  yet he opened not his mouth;  like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.   

By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people?     

And they made his grave with the wicked  and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.   

Yet it was the will of the  Lord  to crush him; he has put him to grief;  when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;  the will of the  Lord  shall prosper in his hand.   

Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,  make many to be accounted righteous,  and he shall bear their iniquities.     

Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,  and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors;  yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.  

-Isaiah 53:3-12 

He intercedes for me, loves me and stands up for me! God knows my heart and still loves me. He knows where I fail and yet still makes me successful. I am truly humbled to be called one of Gods kids. I feel more loved and accepted today then I could have ever imagined. Today the truth of the Gospel rings true in my heart! The truth is there is no such word as alone in Gods kingdom. As humans we're going to feel rejected and we will sometimes experience what it means to have no desired human interaction. But we will never feel more rejected then Jesus did. Understanding this truth would keep thousands of teens & adults from hurting and even killing themselves. The statistics, news story and things you read on social media are heart breaking.  Millions go about life feeling alone and rejected. These millions fail to realized that they are loved by a creator who sent his son to die on a cross so that they could experience life here on earth knowing and loving a good God.

This God cares about your anorexia, your parents divorce, the rape you experienced, or the other hurt you face. You're not alone or unloved.

My prayer is that my experiences past present and future will grow my faith and the faith of those around me. My prayer is that I will have the ability to make an impact to those around me as I grow deeper in my life of Jesus and his gospel.

God is so longing to see you come to experience his unfailing love. That's what Easter is all about!