Easter - A great time to reflect

I have never been one to be very emotional. People usually see a smile on my face. At least that's what time told.  I've always been one to bottle things up and wait for things to internally explode before I really explore the root of my feelings and deal with them. Why do I bring this up?

Over the many years of being a Christian I have taken count of Good Friday & Easter. I have thought through the meaning, the depth of what the life and death of Jesus means for me as someone who has chosen to follow him. All of my life I have struggled to experience emotion. I have watched the "Passion of the Christ" and watched the others around me both men and women crying as they take into account the experience of seeing still a limited view of what Jesus truly experienced. There have been times where I've wondered why I struggle so much to explore or feel emotion. Maybe it's because I didn't see much emotion out of my dad except for a temper. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that if I delve into hurt and shame other emotions might arise.  You can only explore emotion and have a conversation with your dog for about 10 seconds before the blank stares get to you and you realize you want something more. I'm looking for someone who will take the time do learn all about me. Someone who will see me for who I am and will truly know my heart and still love me. Sometimes living a lone and being a 33 year old single guy weighs down on me. Other times I put my focus where it belongs and my refection turns me to the truth of Gospel.

The disciple John writes the following after describing the resurrection of Jesus and his interactions with people who loved dearly.

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book;  but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name. 

-John 20:30-31

Jesus is so much more then a good man. Our church does a amazing good Friday in which our pastor tells Jesus' life story as he lights candles as people begin to follow him and extinguish them as people fall away. Last night it struck me how alone Jesus must of felt when I says the famous phrase. "My God, my God why have your forsaken me." Last night and even now it strikes me that Jesus chose to die alone on a cross while even God the father turned is his back away so that I would experience the power of God in my life. He willingly died and took on my sin and shame so that I would never be alone.  These thoughts brought me to the edge of tears and deepened my view of Jesus's work on the cross. Isaiah wrote the following hundreds of years before Jesus walked the earth.

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.     Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken,  smitten by God, and afflicted.     

But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,  and with his wounds we are healed.     

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way;  and the  Lord  has laid on him the iniquity of us all.    He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,  yet he opened not his mouth;  like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.   

By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people?     

And they made his grave with the wicked  and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.   

Yet it was the will of the  Lord  to crush him; he has put him to grief;  when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;  the will of the  Lord  shall prosper in his hand.   

Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,  make many to be accounted righteous,  and he shall bear their iniquities.     

Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,  and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors;  yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.  

-Isaiah 53:3-12 

He intercedes for me, loves me and stands up for me! God knows my heart and still loves me. He knows where I fail and yet still makes me successful. I am truly humbled to be called one of Gods kids. I feel more loved and accepted today then I could have ever imagined. Today the truth of the Gospel rings true in my heart! The truth is there is no such word as alone in Gods kingdom. As humans we're going to feel rejected and we will sometimes experience what it means to have no desired human interaction. But we will never feel more rejected then Jesus did. Understanding this truth would keep thousands of teens & adults from hurting and even killing themselves. The statistics, news story and things you read on social media are heart breaking.  Millions go about life feeling alone and rejected. These millions fail to realized that they are loved by a creator who sent his son to die on a cross so that they could experience life here on earth knowing and loving a good God.

This God cares about your anorexia, your parents divorce, the rape you experienced, or the other hurt you face. You're not alone or unloved.

My prayer is that my experiences past present and future will grow my faith and the faith of those around me. My prayer is that I will have the ability to make an impact to those around me as I grow deeper in my life of Jesus and his gospel.

God is so longing to see you come to experience his unfailing love. That's what Easter is all about!

God's Not Dead

It's easy to see the battle of belief in God's existence. You can see it in tv shows, in the media and even worse yet you can see it in how we(Christians) live. This evening I went to the theaters and saw the movie "God's not dead". When I launched this blog I never intended on reviewing movies but I believe this one warrants a review and a strong encouragement to go see it. The story is inspired by the large number of lawsuits and confrontations that Christians have had in Universities in the United States. The story follows a freshman college student who is forced to deny his belief in God on paper by a philosophy professor. He decides to risk his college, future career plans and relationship with his girlfriend (I didn't like her much)to take on an atheist professor to prove Gods existence to the class in an effort to stand up for God. He engages in a battle within himself to do what's right by standing up for what he believes regardless of what those closest to him think. This story also follows several others including a pastor and his missionary friend, a young converted muslim girl who been in hiding, a reporter who's made her living trashing Christians and others including the girlfriend of the professor and her brother. This movie does a great job creating multiple story lines with quick character development. I loved how the movie intersected everyone's story line so that their lives at the least rub up against one another and even influenced some life choices. The fact that this movie is showing in select theaters is awesome and is a must see and a must buy when it comes out in BlueRay/DVD. You will leave encouraged with your faith increased.

Some thoughts that came out of this move tonight  challenged me in my walk with Jesus. It's easy to get in arguments with people about politics and even faith issues. But how many of us would put our lives on the line to defend our belief in Jesus? How many of us make life decisions out of our disbelief in God's goodness. Many of us have go into or  even stopped short of relationships because we fail to see God's goodness in our life. We look elsewhere for our satisfaction and identity.  At the beginning of this blog post I stated that you can see the battle of belief in the way we Christians live.  Based on my own thoughts and actions I easily see the areas of my disbelief. I easily see the battle brewing in my own heart not for God existence but for my level of faith. I see how life in my life would look if I really lived out what I claim to believe.

Tonight I'm thankful for God's grace, I'm thankful that he truly is so Good that I don't have to look elsewhere for fulfillment. 

If you're reading this post I have a couple challenges for you. 

1. Go check out this movie. (Click below picture for more info)
2. If you're struggling to see God's goodness.  Talk to a pastor, a trusted friend or feel free to email or contact me. 

You are valued, loved and accepted so much that Jesus died for you. We as God's family can rest in Gods grace. Knowing that he sees the truth about us and loves us where we are.

James 4:6 6But he gives more grace. Therefore it says,“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 77 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.

God's Not Dead Movie Website

Who do we trust - Ourselves or God?

As you read this, my hope is that whether you know Jesus or do not, you are inspired go deeper or give him a chance. His desire is that you understand how much he loves you regardless how long you’ve been a Christian, or even if your not.

When you live in a liberal town you see things and meet people that make you wonder about how others came to believe what they believe. When you watch TV you begin to see that the world is filled with examples of people who want to live life for themselves and on their terms. Saturday toward the end of the night I decided to flip through the on demand and find something to watch. (I had a great time watching “A Knights Tale” - I love that movie. I enjoy the witty lines and the modern music in a medieval setting.) I was flipping through and found a documentary on religion called “Religious”. In this film a not-so-funny comedian, Bill Maher, traveled around the World asking people of different religions questions and then making fun of them for believing in God. At many points in the documentary he admits he doesn’t know the answer to the questions he is asking. I have to be honest and say that I turned the movie off after about 45 minutes in. It seemed that he was looking for the worst representations and the craziest of every religion. One of the questions of the film was in relation to hell even existing.

After church on Sunday I had coffee with someone (never met her before) who called herself a Christian. Usually I don’t argue with people when they “call themselves” a Christian. I didn’t this time and we didn’t even talk about religion during coffee. We had covered the basics of beliefs before via email. We had an ok conversation. Afterwards we exchanged text (she asked me to be honest) about seeing one another again and I decided that since we both have very different views of faith that I would not re-engage this person. I got an earful about being judgmental and hateful. After reading up on that religion I see that the biggest issue in that faith is the lack of the gospel. This religion is built on a belief that you can choose everything you want to believe about God as long as you are a good person. The after-coffee dialog confirmed everything I believed about this church after reading up on their website. This works/non-works religion has no absolutes only wishy-washy ideas about God and him really sending people to hell. The “no good person goes to hell” dialog bothers me. If God’s love for us was pulled out of our ability to be a good person where is the measuring stick of what “good” means? Who decides who’s good and who’s not? Many people in the world have and still do believe what they are doing is good. Politicians cheat and lie for the “greater good”. Hitler killed believing what he was doing was good for his people. There is even a TV show about a serial killer who only murders bad people. Without an ultimate measuring stick we are left to decide what’s good for ourselves, and as you can see by examples throughout history we don’t always do a good job of deciding what’s really good. This is where the law (Ten Commandments) proves that no one is good but rather everyone needs the gospel. So works, being a good person doesn’t do it.

One of the other areas we struggle with is our belief in the power of the Gospel. For me it’s funny, I have no problem praying for the sick and truly believing God can deliver health or praying for the hurting and believing God will comfort to them. When it comes to my own life understanding and believing the truth for myself seems hard and sometimes impossible. I’ve wondered why for most of my life. I’ve been drawing closer to God a lot more over the last 3 years. I’ve been reading books (I’ve not been big on reading most of my life), the word and listening to sermons. I understand more about the gospel today than I ever have before.

Growing up in the church it’s easy to talk about sin and not feel its weight or talk about grace and not feel its relief. Over time the idea of sin and grace can become such a regular thought that we tend to disarm it of its power. We forget that the requirement for our sin is death and is not a made up fiction but rather a true price to pay. Without Jesus, death is a sure thing. We tend to handle our faith the same way some people play poker online, but without learning the rules or seeing the small print and they end up signing up for a real game. They believe they don’t play with any real money so they just keep playing and losing. What if one day that debt became real and game makers decided to send a loan shark after you for your negative poker balance? All of a sudden the countless games you played and lost from your computer have become more real. Suddenly you regret not learning the game rules or reading the agreement you blindly clicked “I agree” to. Sadly we forget to think about the consequences of our actions until it’s too late. People wait to prepare by getting water and food until a hurricane is about to strike and there is nothing left, or wait to take care of themselves until after they have health problems. The media can warn us over and over yet we seem to still be blind to the fact that the natural disaster is on the way and can hit out of the blue or if we eat 5000 calories a day we are going to die early. God’s love for us warns us of our impending need for a savior, and the consequences of our disbelief or complacency is eternal separation from him.

There are a lot of people in the world who believe in a “Higher Power” but fail to connect Jesus to that equation and don’t become a Christian because they don’t want to change their life or lose their false sense freedom. Others feel like they must have it all together to understand everything about God before they trust him. Both ideas lead to the same place.

False sense of Freedom

One of the false misconceptions about Christianity is that it’s all about rules. I’ve heard it said that staying out of religion or Christianity for that matter gives people the freedom to live the way they want. The scary part is that most of what we want is selfish things that usually lead to us hurting others or ourselves. Our desires lead us to places of perusing idols that are self-destructive. Marriages end because either or both spouses are more about pleasing themselves than their partner. Looking at Hollywood, or even Nashville, it’s easy to see what happens to those who get what they want and reject Jesus at the same time. This is not always the case, but so many people who “have it all” end up on drugs, getting into trouble, and even dying from their self-destructive behavior. The few who were blessed enough to experience the good things that have come out of those two cultures and follow Jesus at the same time seem to have a sense of humility and freedom. My point is this- money, fame, a living a life based on ideas of success and freedom, are false ideas of what brings joy, peace and true freedom. True freedom is experienced when we lay our lives down and follow Jesus. The bible promises to give us the desires of our heart.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Ps. 37:4

Once you get even a glimpse of God’s love and goodness your desires change. You will not look at life the same as you did before you met Jesus and decided to follow him. Freedom looks different. Freedom is found in a God who died for you and gave his life for you. Freedom is found in truly understanding grace. Life is less about us, more about others, and all about God. How would America look today if we cared about each other more than ourselves? Stayed away from lifestyles that God has warned us are harmful? Turned away from sin? How would marriage look in America if fewer men struggled with pornography? What if we treated homosexuality the way we treated people struggling with pornography and help them see that God loves them? The problem with the Church today is that we are less accepting of people yet more accepting of sin. If we reversed the two I think the American church would look different.

Having it all figured out

I think most mature Christians will admit they don’t have it ALL figured out. Issues like ‘how does a virgin birth happen’ or ‘how can a sea be parted, people get healed, resurrected’ are not things that cannot be proven by science, but rather only explained by faith in an all-powerful God. The fact is, that having it all figured out is not needed for relationship. Most friendships or even relationships we enter into do not start with us knowing everything about the other person. We decide to start the relationship to get to know the other person in hopes that we will gain a friend that we can trust out of this. Jesus understood our need for friendship and relationship with him when he said:

I don’t call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. But I’ve called you friends because I’ve made known to you everything that I’ve heard from my Father. John 15:15

God has given us all the tools through Jesus to understand and explore his love for us. He’s not asking us to have it all figured out but rather that we would begin a friendship with him. Doing this becomes the greatest friendship you will ever have. Out of this friendship you gain a father, king. and a friend. You get a comforter, guide. and equipper in the power Holy Spirit. You gain a family of believers that can help you through hard times, love you, and point you in the right direction.

Here is your Christmas Card

Merry Christmas

God has been stirring me to write for over a week as he's been brewing things in my heart this Christmas season.  Today I was talking with someone and sharing the struggles of this season that we were both facing. The holidays tend to be hard for a lot of people. Christmas can be a really good opportunity for you to get depressed about what you don't have, once had or never wanted.  For me this season has been really special because of all the things God has done throughout this year. If I could sum this year up in a phrase it would be called "The Search for Identity." This year has been a year of seeking the lord for his plan for me and getting a clear picture of how loved I really am. This last week our pastor taught the 4th Advent message this Sunday teaching out of Galatians 4 (You can hear the sermon series at www.realityolympia.com) This week really captured some ideas that I had wrestled over this year and I think most of us struggle with from time to time. Most identity issues come out of a lack of seeing our true value through God's eyes. Some see themselves as more valuable than God but most struggle to see how much God truly values them. I can be honest enough to say that this has been a lifelong battle for me.  Most of my life I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy, lack of acceptance, value and purpose.

Galatians 4:5 God sent him to pay for the freedom of those who were controlled by these laws so that we would be adopted as his children. 6 Because you are God’s children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into us to call out, “Abba![a]Father!” 7 So you are no longer slaves but God’s children. Since you are God’s children, God has also made you heirs.

I've heard the word adopted in reference to our relationship to God many times.  Every time I've thought "Well thats awesome that God adopted me". Yet I've never though about the aspects of adoption in contrast to the negative things I've struggled with.  I'm stealing these things from this weeks sermon. I mentioned that I've struggled with inadequacy, lack of acceptance, value and purpose. Part of being adopted its be loved no matter what, being chosen, wanted, and set apart.  The power of adoption though Christ has the power to undo any lie you have believed about yourself. Adoption has the power to reset ones life giving them a second chance.  Adoption through Christ proves that we are so valuable that we are heirs to God's kingdom.  Regardless of our past, struggles in our present life or worries about our future God's incredible love for us empowers us to overcome wrong thoughts about our self. His love gives us strength to overcome in the moment, and faith to believe that he knows our future and has planned it out. Going into 2014 I'm excited to see what he's up to. There are a lot of people who need to know how much he loves them. There are a lot of young people (my passion) who need to know that they are heard, not forgotten, unloved or left behind.

In 2014 I believe that God would have us seek him in Faith knowing through him we have the power to change our cities, lead or families and friends to him and see amazing things in our own lives. Jesus even said we would do great things than him. In 2014 God's desire is that we would truly experience the power of the holy spirit to heal, restore and make new.  The question is how hard are we willing to seek him? How much of our own agenda are we willing to lay down to see him kingdom come and his will be done? How much do we truly trust him?

Let join together as one family. Seek the lord for our cities, our friends and family. This Christmas Eve, lets see this season for what it's truly about. God's redemptive work to save his kids from themselves. God incredible love to live, and then die on a cross for you and me and finally his awesome power to rise again proving he can overcome the power of sin and death for every person who chooses to believe in him!

Behing every good man there's a good _____________!

I have to admit one of my biggest struggles in my walk is being in the word. I've been feeling Gods poking me to get back in communion with him for a while and like allot of people it's easier to go watch tv or hang out with people than it is to sit, pray and read. 

With that being said I've started to read the book of Romans and I've been processing ideas and thoughts and comparing some of them to what I'm reading in my time with God.

Your suckyness isn't fake

It's been a life long struggle to see myself the way God sees me or to believe that I really am the good man that my mentors tell me I am. The fact is that I constantly struggle with falling short and feeling like I'm not living the great life I'm suppose to. The truth of the Gospel tells me that apart from Christ I'm not far off from being sucky.

Rom 1:18-32 GW  God's anger is revealed from heaven against every ungodly and immoral thing people do as they try to suppress the truth by their immoral living.  (19)  What can be known about God is clear to them because he has made it clear to them.  (20)  From the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly observed in what he made. As a result, people have no excuse.  (21)  They knew God but did not praise and thank him for being God. Instead, their thoughts were pointless, and their misguided minds were plunged into darkness.  (22)  While claiming to be wise, they became fools.  (23)  They exchanged the glory of the immortal God for statues that looked like mortal humans, birds, animals, and snakes.  (24)  For this reason God allowed their lusts to control them. As a result, they dishonor their bodies by sexual perversion with each other.  (25)  These people have exchanged God's truth for a lie. So they have become ungodly and serve what is created rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen!  (26)  For this reason God allowed their shameful passions to control them. Their women have exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.  (27)  Likewise, their men have given up natural sexual relations with women and burn with lust for each other. Men commit indecent acts with men, so they experience among themselves the punishment they deserve for their perversion.  (28)  And because they thought it was worthless to acknowledge God, God allowed their own immoral minds to control them. So they do these indecent things.  (29)  Their lives are filled with all kinds of sexual sins, wickedness, and greed. They are mean. They are filled with envy, murder, quarreling, deceit, and viciousness. They are gossips,  (30)  slanderers, haters of God, haughty, arrogant, and boastful. They think up new ways to be cruel. They don't obey their parents,  (31)  don't have any sense, don't keep promises, and don't show love to their own families or mercy to others.  (32)  Although they know God's judgment that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do these things but also approve of others who do them.

I'm pretty sure I've done a number of the things in the list above. In addition I have failed to trust God. I tell people that Jesus is my lord and savoir but struggle with the realization that he loves me. unconditionally  I say "father" in my prayer time but struggle to grasp how a good father loves his kids.

Rom 3:21-26 GW  Now, the way to receive God's approval has been made plain in a way other than Moses' Teachings. Moses' Teachings and the Prophets tell us this.  (22)  Everyone who believes has God's approval through faith in Jesus Christ. There is no difference between people.  (23)  Because all people have sinned, they have fallen short of God's glory.  (24)  They receive God's approval freely by an act of his kindness through the price Christ Jesus paid to set us free from sin.  (25)  God showed that Christ is the throne of mercy where God's approval is given through faith in Christ's blood. In his patience God waited to deal with sins committed in the past.  (26)  He waited so that he could display his approval at the present time. This shows that he is a God of justice, a God who approves of people who believe in Jesus.

Love given by humans is rarely given without strings. Married poeple expect certian things from their spouses to prove they are loved by the other person. Parents expect that their kids loving them looks like them doing everything they say with out question or maybe just taking them of them when they are old.

God doesn't have strings on his love for us. He didn't say "I'm only going to die for you if you stop sinning and go to church every Sunday." God gave his son knowing that some will choose death yet he died no less for them then his did for me. 

What about those who have chosen salvation?

Rom 8:14-18 GW  Certainly, all who are guided by God's Spirit are God's children.  (15)  You haven't received the spirit of slaves that leads you into fear again. Instead, you have received the spirit of God's adopted children by which we call out, "Abba! Father!"  (16)  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.  (17)  If we are his children, we are also God's heirs. If we share in Christ's suffering in order to share his glory, we are heirs together with him.  (18)  I consider our present sufferings insignificant compared to the glory that will soon be revealed to us.

Ever talk with someone who's chosen to adopt a child? People who adopt amaze me. There must be a part of them loves in a special way. To love a child that's not theirs like they are their own is amazing. I'm been blessed to have been adopted in to a family as an adult. I'm amazed still as I sat recently at a restaurant with my mentors/God parents at how much they love me. They didn't have to pour all the time, energy and love into me that they have over the last 13 years but God wired them in such a way that they by nature adopt youth. They saw a young man who was lacking love and confidence and have done their best to be an example of Gods heart. How great is it that God adopts us. He loves us so much that he would give us a part of his inheritance.  We don't deserve it but we need it.

Living out the life of being adopted.

Rom 8:31-35 GW  What can we say about all of this? If God is for us, who can be against us?  (32)  God didn't spare his own Son but handed him over to death for all of us. So he will also give us everything along with him.  (33)  Who will accuse those whom God has chosen? God has approved of them.  (34)  Who will condemn them? Christ has died, and more importantly, he was brought back to life. Christ has the highest position in heaven. Christ also intercedes for us.  (35)  What will separate us from the love Christ has for us? Can trouble, distress, persecution, hunger, nakedness, danger, or violent death separate us from his love?

Gratefulness - I think our walk with God as an adopted child of God should start with gratefulness. How can we not be grateful for the gift of salvation? Coming to the conclusion that we need God should make of grateful that he saw our need and delivered. God could have done another of things but he chose the path of loving his creation.

Confidence - This is where I struggle. I've spent most of my life not realizing that I'm royalty. I've spent allot of my life stopping short of living out a life as a chosen son. I've stopped short of believing that God has big plans for me. Thus allowing the enemy to keep me from fulfilling the calling God has put on my life. God have given me a new confidence I see my calling not as a path to chose but rather God's plan that he has laid out for me. Its not a matter of if I fulfill the life he's chosen for me but rather when.  If your struggling with future plans or believing in Gods calling on your life. Remember he knew about the holdups, they things that have come in the way and he's not surprised and he's even prepared the poeple ahead to speak into your life or help push you along. Perhaps now is the time for you to begin to have confidence in your calling and the things that he's saying to you.

Humility - It's important that we remind humble. Realizing that God didn't choose us because where  awesome. He chose us because of our potential to be an example of his goodness. To many Christians lack humility when talking to unbelievers. Because of that we are called hypocrites and haters.  We have to keep in mind that the same way God dies for us while we were still sinners he's died for them and the sin they are in now. If we come to the unsaved with heart of humlity showing that we too are broken but greatful for Gods goodness toward us and confident that God will allow us to live out our calling. People who don't know Jesus will get a glimps of the Gospel in action.

Non Christians don't need to see super-humans who looks like they have it all together. Rather they need to see the real side of our lives. Broken people who need a loving father to rescue them from death, sin and a life alone with out love. They need to see that suck just as much as they do. The only difference is that we have accepted the gift of love that they have not.

Thanks for reading,

John

Love Stories

I have to admit I can be a sucker for love stories. I don't necessarily go searching for them I don't spend my evenings watching Sleepless in Seattle or You Got Mail though I've seen both and enjoyed them. There's is something about two people coming together that is appealing. Maybe it's just the hope for the future brewing.

Tonight I made mistake of flipping though the Comcast TV guide and ran across a movie that I've seen only parts of but have never watched the whole thing. Here is comes.. Tonight I watched "A Walk to Remember." Yes ladies its a sweet love story. Tonight in this film I got a little bit more than I bargained for. The love story was sweet but I never realized that there was a second love story hidden in this film. Did you catch it?

This film is quite interesting because hidden (maybe not so much) in this story between two teens is a pursuing healing God. Through the faith of young dieing girl, a boy is saved, the relationship between father and son is reconciled and God uses a daughter to remind a pastor to believe his own message of forgiveness and faith.

This story shows us what love looks like Sure is a story about two people but the big story is about  God pursuing and loving his people. I think there is something in this story for everyone.

• If your single there is hope - you will find someone
• If your in the mist of a broken relationship there's hope that God would heal that it. 
• If your struggling with the loss of a spouse or someone close to you God reminds us of his love and that even in the mist of death and sadness God still has a plan, he still wants what's best for his people though it might looks different than we might realized. 
• God's plan is bigger than ours his plans for us effect all those around us as we chose to walk by faith, be an example of God's love to others. 

“Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
Landon: What?
Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends.....

If your struggling tonight remember God loves you and though things may not look they way you might want he has a plan for redemption, he has plan to save those who don't know him. He loves to redeem and restore relationships sometimes all that's needed is a little faith and trust in God to see a miracle.Trust him and his plans..

Do you know what love is??

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Tonight take a moment, slow down, take a breath.. Remember God's love is unfailing. His love saves us, heals us and never disappoints.. His love is greater than any other force on earth. His love caused him to send his only son to die on a tree for you me.. 

I don't know about you but humbled...

The Love Problem - A message for married people.

This evening I caught today's episode of Dr Phil. He was talking to a divorced couple who have been apart for 5 years. This couple can't seem to get along regardless of the long term effects on their children. Dr Phil listed off a number of things that their kids will struggle with if they don't get it together. Things such as acceptance, the desire to find love any where they can get it, bitterness, guilt and shame.

This episode got me thinking about love. (Funny I know) I can relate to some of the struggles that Dr Phil talked about in kids who's parents divorced. I was significantly older than this family's kids but even at an older age it easy easy for a young person to pick up the burden of their parents failed relationship and take on the blame, struggle to fill accepted and have problems with future relationships.

My own struggles in life have come from a failed understanding of love. I think this failed understanding plagues our world. This shows up in our schools, marriages and even our churches. What does the bible say about love?

1Co 13:4-8a  Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous. It doesn't sing its own praises. It isn't arrogant.  It isn't rude. It doesn't think about itself. It isn't irritable. It doesn't keep track of wrongs.  It isn't happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.  Love never comes to an end.

God doesn't struggle with love. he doesn't struggle to be patient, and God surely doesn't give up on us. To many people have given up on love. They forget that they have a sin nature. That sin nature causes them to stop being patient. It makes them rude, it helps and even encourages them to keep records of past hurts and it tares people apart and makes them forget about why they got married in the first place. One problem with our marriages is that we (men) forget that if we're suppose to love our brides as Christ loves the church then we have to fight our flesh, stay patient, not give up and work on our relationship's to keep them healthy. If your struggling with your marriage tonight keep in mind that God hasn't given up on you or your spouse. Today might be a good time to take a step back and ask yourself if you've stopped being patent.. Are you doing the opposit of what the bible calls love? Have you given up on the promise you made to love for better or for worse. Even when things where at their worst Jesus never gave up on us.  If you have given up it's not to late.. Now is the time to ask God for help.

Turn it around!

The problem you're facing is not going to be fixed by reading a book or counting to 10 in a argument. Rather seeking the lord to deepen your understanding of love. If you want to understand how to love your spouse better the answer lies in Jesus' example of how he loved people. Jesus had grace, patience and all the way to his death on the cross. He never gave up he knew that his sacrifice would redeem a fallen world and he was willing to exchange comfort for pain in order to love his bride well. 

Tonight God calls all of us married or not to take a step back and sit in Gods presence and experience what love feels like. He's calling us to give up our selfish ways for a relationship with him.  The fact is that if we want to have healthy relationships we need to forget about our own feelings and lay our lives down for one another.

John 15:13  No one has greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

If we the Church want to be the example of what love looks like we need to carry that into our relationships, friendships and marriages. If the church truly understood the love of Christ and was humbled by his sacrifice we would act different. Our divorce rate wouldn't be the same as unsaved people. If we truly understood love we wouldn't hate the sinner and the sin. We would love the sinner so they would see Gods love through and stop sinning.   If your struggling with Gods love talk to someone you trust. Feel free to even contact me. All of us need a deeper understanding of love and all of us need to see the growth in the significance and need for the cross in our lives.


Blessings,

John

What do I know of Holy?

I know allot of songs. I sing them in the car, in the shower and at church. The funny part is that although I know the words I don't always really listen to the words and put the meanings together. Today I was in the car and Pandora played this song called "What do I know of holy?" By Addison Road

Here are the lyrics..

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?


This song reminds me that most of my struggles with self identity are self inflicted. When I truly get a glimpse of God and his glory I begin to see who he created me to be. I see my identify through his eyes.

In the same way that I'm great I learning songs but horrible and meditating on what the songs about, most of my life I've been really good and knowing the words to say as I go about the life of a Christian but I have been horrible about meditating on what my life with him really means. Being a christian looks different today then I did a year ago. Every year I learn more about God and his love for me.

I think I'm going to sit down and re-listen to my favorite songs so I know what I've been singing all these years. I have a feeling that slowing down to experience Gods goodness through music will prove to be a fun new way to experience Gods love. I need to do the same with the words I read and the things I think. We are such as generation of fast thinkers. I need to get better at shutting off the iPhone & TV to spend more time in Gods presence. It's great to see what he's done this far and I know that more time I invest in knowing him the bigger his cross will become.

Try this: next time your favorite song comes on don't sing just listen. Tell me what you find out. 

I'd also like to know what your favorite way of experiencing God is.. I'm curious to hear how you spend time with God. What are you doing to grow your walk?
 

What if the world really eneded yesterday

Yesterday's failure to be the end of the world received allot of press. Very few people took it seriously most of what you saw where jokes on Facebook and people around the office making comments like "Crap, I'm still here guess I shouldn't have sold all my stuff."

I made my share of jokes yesterday but in the back of my mind I wondered; What if it was truly the day Jesus came back? What would he say to me if I stood before him yesterday? Would I hear the famous words from the bible "Well done good and faithful servant."?  There are times when I've been lazy or scared to share the gospel. Other times I just haven't been the best example of a Christ follower. Sometimes I'm quick to get frustrated, and  I lack grace when in the same area I've received grace.

Personally I'm thankful that the world didn't end yesterday. I get another chance to serve the God who paid the ultimate price for my sin. I get another opportunity to live in community with other believers and talk about God and his grace and mercy.  My prayer is that I would learn to live like every day is the "end of the world".  Not in a panicked way but in a humble loving way. Remembering that we never know when today might be our last opportunity to speak into someones life and tell them about Jesus.

Over the last week we've seen a big example of how fragile life is. We saw 26 innocent lives lost. In the midst of tragedy my prayer is that I would begin to listen and watch for every opportunity to speak the gospel, be a good example of Jesus and love those that feel unloved. I personally need a new spark of passion for God and spending quality time with him.

 "When the end comes, the kingdom of heaven will be like ten bridesmaids. They took their oil lamps and went to meet the groom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. The foolish bridesmaids took their lamps, but they didn't take any extra oil. The wise bridesmaids, however, took along extra oil for their lamps. Since the groom was late, all the bridesmaids became drowsy and fell asleep. "At midnight someone shouted, 'The groom is here! Come to meet him!' Then all the bridesmaids woke up and got their lamps ready.  "The foolish ones said to the wise ones, 'Give us some of your oil. Our lamps are going out.' "But the wise bridesmaids replied, 'We can't do that. There won't be enough for both of us. Go! Find someone to sell you some oil.' "While they were buying oil, the groom arrived. The bridesmaids who were ready went with him into the wedding hall, and the door was shut. "Later the other bridesmaids arrived and said, 'Sir, sir, open the door for us!' "But he answered them, 'I don't even know who you are!'  "So stay awake, because you don't know the day or the hour.

 - Matthew 25:1-13 GW

It is interesting that we would face these questions just before Christmas. This is the season where people start to give more, help others more and either fight or love their family more. We start thinking about the upcoming year. We do our self assessments make resolutions for self improvement most of which we give up on by February. Most companies plan their budget and goals for the next year. Retail places do inventory and get ready to close out the books. 

Now is the perfect time to think about how can we make eternal choices to serve the lord. What things should we be doing here on earth so that we can one day hear "Well done" from God and take others with us. Take some time over the next week to sit, pray and ask the lord what direction he wants you to go. Ask him what he wants to change and grow in you this year. Then make a commitment to him about those things. The last step is accountability make sure you tell someone about what God showed you so that you can be held accountable through out the year.  I'm excited to see what God is going to do in 2013. The potential is endless God's plans are bigger than we can hope or dream.

The "Real" me! - Rebooting my Blog

Recently I've done allot of self exploration. As you walk through your thirties it's really easy to start going through the checklist of life and ask yourself if you are and where you wish you were.  If you're like me you take a step back and wonder what life would look like now if you would have just made that left hand turn in life or took a chance that you didn't. You remember specific situations and replay them in your mind.

Being single at any age past 30 isn't easy. The pressure of my parents wanting grand-kids and me wanting companionship seems overwhelming at times. At times I wonder what I've done wrong or what haven't I done?

Recently I've come to come realizations about myself. Some have come from conversations with God while others have come from conversations with friends/elders at my church and mentors. It's interesting to see the self patterns that plague us. We don't realize it until we're up to our necks in guilt, shame or depression. In general I've never seen myself as  a depressed person. Most people who see me around see me as a pretty easy going guy. I crack jokes, poke fun at people and generally enjoy being around others and seem pretty happy in general.

What most didn't know about me is that I've been hiding. I spent allot of my late teen and adult life hearing some of the things that my father said to me over the years and felling discouraged, beating myself up, hurting and then not telling anyone. I've been hiding the fact that I've been struggling, feeling alone and unloved. To some I have come across as unapproachable and rightly so, deep down I have been hiding who I am. I've been afraid people won't like the whole John  and then I would get upset or hurt that no one seems to try to get to know the real me. What I haven't realized until recently is that I've been showing only one side of my personally. Like most men I've tried to show the strong side or the funny side.

I haven't expressed to many how my heart breaks when I talk to others who feel unworthy, or unloved. My heart breaks when I hear about the young girl or guy who is teased and then commits suicide. I wish they would have known how much they are loved.  I can relate the their feelings of loneliness or being abandoned by those who above all people should have love you and stuck with you.

At the same time I'm grateful for God's hand in my life. He's placed key people around me over the years to keep me moving forward, shaping me and loving me and believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. I'm thankful for my stand-in parents. I don't know that they realize that I wouldn't be alive today if I had not met them 13 years ago. I would have given up at a very early age and would have been one of those people in the news. 

I spent allot of my life trying to add up, comparing myself to others. I've always felt like I don't fit and never quite felt like I was really worth something.  Even today I with out meaning to I look at others around me and catch myself thinking "If only I was like that _________."

It's very much human nature to compare ourselves to those around us. I have at times based who I am (my identity) on others who seems like they have everything I want or think I need. What I have failed to realize is that Gods thoughts about me are different then what I have heard or thought about myself. God's plan for me is bigger then I realized. God's thoughts towards me are better then what I have thought about myself.

God has been on the back burner. 

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, and he shall bring it to pass. - Proverbs 37:4-5 

What does the word desire mean in this passage?  Some have used it to say that if you follow God he would give you that brand new Mercedes you've been wanting. I believe that mans desires lay much deeper that an object such as a car?  Deep down we are looking for some key things. 

• Acceptance 
• Safety
• Unconditional Love

What I have come to see in my life is that desire for a car(or whatever) comes out of us falsely thinking that others will like us more if we own a cool car or wear the right clothes. We tell ourselves that dollar signs add our self value. Over the years I have strives for things and even changed things about myself for the sake of impressing others. I have watched someone(not me) buy and sell vehicles and toys like no other to try and find satisfaction with himself but never finding it rather destroying his marriage and relationships around him.

I believe when God is talking about giving us the desires of our heart he is talking about us finding that acceptance, safety and unconditional love. Allot of this chapter of Proverbs is talking about a life with God filled with safety from enemy's, not feeling shameful and God showing others your righteousness for his sake. 

As I sit here I'm still struggling through my own insecurities, I'm struggling with measuring up and giving my future to the Lord. Over the last 6 months God has been very faithful to show me his love. He has allowed me to see him differently then I ever have before.  I've chosen to see the cross differently then I have in the past. As I struggle with my live, God would have me lay those things down at the cross realized that I'm broken and unable to experience true acceptance safety or unconditional love with out his sacrifice.

I'm humbled to realize that Jesus knows my struggles sees my future and has lead me this point of realizing that my need for him lays behind my religion, identity as a Christian and routine of showing up at church every Sunday and worshiping him, but rather coming to place of dependence and fellowship with his spirit. I'm thankful and humbled that he would die for my sin, love me through my struggles and beckon me to spend time with him and experience him and all that he has. I'm thankful for him leading me to a place of realizing that my need for the cross is bigger then I've realized in my 20+ years of being a Christian.

Truly today I am different then I was yesterday. 

• Today I lay down my life, self image and goals at his feet knowing that there's nothing that I can do with out his help. 
• Today I choose to look at every struggle as an opportunity to go to Jesus for my source of strength.
• Today I choose to really put my future in his hands, listen for his voice and spend more time learning about who he is and seeking my identity though how he sees me. 

I'm thankful to anyone who would read this far though my story. My heart for this blog would be that I would act as a source of  encouragement to others. If your one who can relate. Please feel free to contact me. Don't hide but rather tell other of your struggles. Use the family of God as support find others who will pray for you and point you to Jesus.

More Blog post to follow as I walk though my journey with the Lord and seeing what he's doing in mylife. I'm sure big things are coming and its time to get ready for God to do great things!

John

The facts about a life in Christ

I decided it would be a good idea to write some thoughts. I figure if I am thinking these things others must be to. Generally you find if your struggling in an area so are others around you.

I started to write a blog that was all sweet and more of a preach then a conversation. On my way to Seattle for a class the lord started talking to me and saying that real life struggles mean more than fun little stories.

Here's the truth about following God. It isn't always easy. That doesn't make the journey any less amazing but there are times in most peoples lives where they are thinking about giving up.

I'm struggling in my singleness. I have a desire to start a family, and want that more that anything. But is that an idol? Do I want a family more than I want Jesus?

Do I wake up in the morning to start a family or serve my God?
Do I wake up with the hope having of wife and kids some day or do I wake up with hope in Jesus who meets my every need and has plan an a purpose for me?

Truthfully my thought waver back and forth depending on the day. 

After Birthday Thoughts

Sorry its been a while..

I can't believe that it's already October. My birthday has come and gone. This years birthday was different. I look at life with new eyes. If you don't know Christ it's important to realize that Christians are not exempt from struggling. Last year at this time I was fighting depression.

Some very close people I love and generally turned to when struggling where under going their own life challenges. Close friends were getting into relationships leaving me the only single on in the house and the normal work of stress was mounting and I felt like I had no one to talk to. I share all this to make a couple points about life. And what I learned coming out of the 3 months of depression I was facing. I realize that this fight is different for everyone. Remembers God's truth is the same regardless of who you are.

1. God created us to need each other.  I Thessalonians 5:11: Therefore, encourage each other and strengthen one another as you are doing. If your struggling with depression let someone in. God desires that we would support our other family members.
2. Learn God's promises, learn what his word says about you. The bible says that the devil comes to Steal, Kill and destroy.  I was talking with someone the other day and I stated hows it's interesting that the devil only really messes with me in one place. He knows where my faith is weak and where I'm struggling to believe the gospel and that's where he attacks every time. If you are struggling with your place in life, your self image or where you going. Keep in mind that.. 
• God has a plan and a purpose for your life.
• God loves you and sees through your hurt pain and weak spots and he calls you to be set apart. If you feel like your different it's because you are. God loves you so much that he created you to be an individual. 
• God hears your cry even when it feels like no one is listening
3. Learn about who God's is and what does the bible say about God and his character.  I'll give you a couple starting points. These things lead back to number to.. If you learn who God is.. You'll see that he always keeps his promises.
• God is the only one who always does what is good, right and perfect. 
• God is Great - So we don’t have to be in control.
• God is Glorious – So we don’t have to fear others
• God is Good - So we don’t have to look elsewhere
• God is Gracious - So we don’t have to prove ourselves

In the end I learned that God wants me to trust him. He wants me to give him my life and everything I have and am. In return he gives me the privilege of serving him,  being his kid.  It took me half of 2011 to realize that my depression was no more that the devil trying to attack me at the core of my faith in Christ. As I get ahold of my faith in the Gospel and what it says I see the world different. Look at all people with new eyes and I look at my life through Gods lense rather than my own.

Life is good, not by anything I've done but by me giving Christ my life and in return doing nothing but listening and then doing what he tells me.  The battle is not over.. I finish up with a favorite verse.

Hebrews 12:1: Since we are surrounded by so many examples of faith, we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that distracts us. We must run the race that lies ahead of us and never give up.

Calculated Risk

A friend maybe the only guy who actually reads my blog made a comment to me about the fact that I haven't written anything recently.  What he doesn't know is that I have. Turns out I have 3 drafts that I just haven't posted.. I'm not sure why maybe it's because I'm not sure about how open and vulnerable I want to be.

Today I hit a milestone in my lifestyle change after losing 40lbs I did a day hike. I've done one other before when I was a teen.. This was my first in over 15 years. It was amazing. I was determined and I conquered the climb.  I'll have some photos on my photo blog www.thephotoevangelist.com in the next couple days!

A couple thoughts.. 
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengths me.
Romans 1:20For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. 

Good night for now!


John

Weddings - God's Plan for us to trust him.

For me weddings are bitter sweet. I love them and dislike them. I love what they stand for and it brings emotion to my heart as I think about God bringing two people together to spend the rest of their life together.

On the other hand because of that emotion I struggle with weddings. Honestly they are emotional for me. It's a desire of my heart to be married. Good human companionship has been slim in my life with the exception of a handful of individuals mostly older than me. (Like my parents age) I look forward to having someone to eventually spend life with.  I have caught myself sitting in weddings frustrated with God  because its not me up there and I'm not getting any younger.

This brings me to a thought. How much do I really trust Jesus with my life. God knows my heart, he knows my every thought desire and struggle and according to Jeremiah 29:11 he has good plans for me. Yes I still struggle with Gods "greatness" in my life. I struggle to believe that he is truly in control and has my steps ordained as well as the life of my future wife.  Even though I've struggled through one wedding this year and I'm on the verge of  a second  one in which I experience the joy and the frustration with where I think my life should be.  I praise God for the things he's doing in the lives of the people I love. I'm blessed, honored and humbled to be apart of this huge thing in their life and I have hope for my future.

I know I'm not the only one struggling with these feelings as wedding season is coming to a close. So I leave you with this tonight. If you struggling with where you are in your life remember that God hears your heart & and your cry. He has a plan even though at times it may not feel like it.

The Big Picture

Regardless of how our lives pan out. There will come a day where God will come for his bride (the Church) and there will be a great feast. Non of us know when/if God will bring our earthly bride but we are promised that he will come back for us.

My goal tomorrow is to not think about the natural and my struggles, but to remember God's plan and God's love for his church. I would be foolish to miss Gods example of amazing love towards his creation.

Lets Trust, Serve Jesus together.

Thank you,


John

New Blog

Life is full of Challenges opportunities, joy and even pain. As I've been walking through life the last year I've been asking some real questions about myself.

• Am I giving Jesus everything? (Good and Bad)
• Do I really know who I am? (Whats my identity)
• Do I really believe who God says I am and do I trust him enough to allow me to walk down the road to becoming that man? 

I'm learning that what God says about me and what he says is different from the man I see in the mirror. At times I see a hurting individual. Others times I see a strong leader willing to do what it takes. Both things clash and bump heads and a seem inconsistent.

Here's what I know, God is ordaining my footsteps. He's calling me to explore his plan and purpose for my life and then learn how to believe what he says about me.  My Goal is to put those things here as I learn about myself, who God is and what he's called me to be I plan to share the things Jesus is doing in my life to in the end bring him glory.. Two things are for sure..

I'm going to screw something up in the process - His grace is sufficient to cover all my short comings, fears and failures and in the end be a vessel to lead others to him..

Every day is a Challenge - Every day is a Blessing - Ever day brings me one day closer to being with Christ for eternity

Stay Tuned - I have allot to share. Hopefully my Journey will bless someone else who just might be struggling with the same things I am.

John  

^{1st Peter 2:9} But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. ¹⁰ Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Old Blog Pictures! Round 1

Funny, I'm looking through old blog post from a couple years ago.. Here are some cool pictures I found from my old blog...


 

I'm working on another post regarding some of the things God's been talking to me about.. Stay Tuned, I'll hopefully have it posted tomorrow.